agh

may 3, 2023

content warnings: none

summary: stupid lecture quiz on physics for a math class, i'm bad at writing, i'm repressed... also i bullet listed things that happened the past months (then mentioned few more things even after bullet listing)

as of may 1st, i'm currently battling for full credit in a lecture quiz assignment through emails with my prof and its sooooooo so so STUPID. why the hell. am i trying to explain physics. in a math quiz. sure, there's physics applied in this math class but this is for math??? IM SUPPOSE TO EXPLAIN MATH, NOT PHYSICS???? also, he didn't teach nor explain anything about the contents of the quiz during the lecture! so how am i suppose to do it anyway?? here's another 848797475th reason why university fvcking sucks and is a big detriment to my beginning adulthood (and my life).

about an hour passed after i wrote the above paragraph, and i got the full points! still mad though, i wasted an hour looking up physics while having no knowledge of it. and now i have to write this email to another professor about a mistake in grading my midterms. also im taking the loss and accepting a zero on all my projects... lol. surprisingly i can still pass... lolol

anyways, long time no entry! i should write more. i'm not expressive of my thoughts and don't write unless if it's for an assigned paper... i'm just not best at writing. it can get very wordy and confusing, and also repetitive, messy, inarticulate, and... lbljdhfjdkf overall my writing can be annoying and hard to read. there's a lot of things i've thought about for the past months that would've been nice to have written down, but they go away so quick. there's my Notepad in this site for a reason, but i mean these thoughts are more elaborate, detailed... and deep...... something i'd like to keep in my journal here. not only that, i've been awfully repressed my whole life. i barely and never say anything about myself and my thoughts to anyone, not even closest friends and family. i only share about something if it's what i think the other person recognizes, or would like to hear. otherwise i'd be sweating a lot afraid to say anything. agh

so, list of things that happened the past months:

i've been making my own fruit smoothies YEAHHHHHH!!!! i've been so deficient not drinking smoothies as much as i use to since covid, and now i can make them myself! no sugar whatsoever, only get natural sugars from fruits. and a lot of powered greens cuz that's good for me. i love drinking a fruit smoothie, makes me happy :D
noragami..... is ending this year. *doommmmmm* i already had a breakdown about it in the beginning of this year but MAN WHAT?? WHAT. IM NOT AS UPSET AS WHEN I JUST LEARNED BUT STILL, SERIOUSLY?? i have thought long about it the past few months, and it does make sense since this series has been going on for a decade. but still... my heart refuses.... agghhhkjkfhhhgj i'm so sad.....
i've fallen down down downnnn in a pit of navigating my very old, past interests. well, this isn't new to me since i always have anyway. i tend to look back on things a lot. but in this case it is especially because of my Notepad. i've been digging through my childhood memories and finding things that i knew of and used to enjoy, that i want to keep track of them in lists.
aaand because i've lately been keeping track of my past interests, i recently descended back into a series i first watched in late 2015. rewatching it is... yikes. it's very badly written and executed. i remember how wary i was of it. i was cringing and flinching a lot too & i did again while rewatching. what really stuck me through it back then was my grown love for these two characters, and i thought the roleplay was super cool watching as a kid. felt like i was watching a playthrough of an rpg. anyways, my history with the two characters: i've grown to love one of them.. only for them to be written out of character all of a sudden, then they sacrificed themselves. i missed them for more than the first half of the second season (they were stuck in a dimension). and then by the end of that second season, i realized i grew to love the other character so much MORE but by then they've gone missing. i dropped the series when the third season was ongoing because everything went downhill terribly. my grown feelings for them have laid sooo dormant for, wow eight? no, seven years? i also caught up on a discontinued remake of the first season i've barely gotten to, and i went NUTS when the character that went missing at the end of the second season appeared & talked onscreen. they said one longgg line that was exactly as they said in the original. i kept looping the clip hfdhfkdjfk it's the last scene they've appeared in this series. agh it upsets me how dirty both characters have been done over the years. as the series continued, their actions were written wayyyy out of character. the creators stopped caring about them...
i have a goal now. i dont remember having goals in forever besides this site, but. im gonna get myself a ds. specifically a white ds lite and a 3ds. playing the ds meant so much to me as a kid, i was gifted a white ds lite and kept it for a few years... before my parents threw it away when it broke and while i was attempting to fix it. i managed to find all the games kept since then, one of them was my first rhythm game! i decided to play it and completed its story a few weeks back on my sibling's dsi. once i get my hands on my very own ds after years.... i can't wait.

other than alll of that, i've been obsessed with my mii. the wii became another huge part of my childhood after i no longer had a ds, and i really really loveee mii's!!! i missed miitomo a lot since it discontinued... but as of now i don't have to anymore (still do tho). yeah that's mii (me) below. one of the most accurate avatars i customized of myself, only difference is not having my long hair. wish there was one that actually captures my hair closely, but i still love it!

phew, i've also been playing the ssum since it released back in august, but that'll be another time for me to talk of. i'm considering to have a page where i log about it. felt a lot of frustration playing the game, i wouldn't recommend anyone to play it because of its issues. still like it tho because i enjoy chatting and engaging with a character over several days, what a great concept for a mobile game. just today the game was updated with a 100 more days of content with harry, and i resumed playing! let's see how this goes...